1 00:01:04,459 --> 00:01:06,000 Well, you're not early this morning. 2 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:07,580 What have you got there? 3 00:01:08,140 --> 00:01:09,340 The cosmetics. 4 00:01:11,460 --> 00:01:13,380 Where do you keep all that stuff? 5 00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:14,900 Any place I can find. 6 00:01:15,300 --> 00:01:18,200 Would you like me to make something for you to keep all that in? 7 00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:19,580 You mean like a vanity? 8 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,080 Would you, George? 9 00:01:21,340 --> 00:01:22,720 Sure, I'd be glad to. 10 00:01:22,940 --> 00:01:26,180 It wouldn't have to be anything fancy. It'd just have to be a place to hold my 11 00:01:26,180 --> 00:01:28,620 moisturizers, mud packs, foundations, powders. 12 00:01:29,150 --> 00:01:32,990 Blushers, mascara, eyeliner, eyeshadow, curler, lipsticks and glasses. 13 00:01:34,390 --> 00:01:35,950 Is all that on there now? 14 00:01:36,170 --> 00:01:37,170 Most of it. 15 00:01:37,290 --> 00:01:39,970 Boy, when you wash your face, it must be this big. 16 00:01:43,590 --> 00:01:44,930 Where's, uh, where's Joanna? 17 00:01:45,190 --> 00:01:46,950 She's in the basement doing the laundry. 18 00:01:48,930 --> 00:01:50,550 Holly, would you come up here for a second? 19 00:01:50,830 --> 00:01:51,830 In a minute. 20 00:01:52,370 --> 00:01:56,310 As long as you're doing this, do you think you could build me a swivel stool 21 00:01:56,310 --> 00:01:57,310 I can do this? 22 00:01:59,470 --> 00:02:00,730 What are you guys talking about? 23 00:02:01,130 --> 00:02:03,270 George is going to build me a vanity. Isn't that great? 24 00:02:04,070 --> 00:02:07,570 Stephanie, don't you think you put a little too much emphasis on, you know, 25 00:02:07,570 --> 00:02:08,209 you look? 26 00:02:08,210 --> 00:02:10,870 Well, maybe, but what am I supposed to do? 27 00:02:11,310 --> 00:02:15,230 I mean, nobody's ever said to me, gee, Stephanie, you're smart, or gee, 28 00:02:15,290 --> 00:02:16,670 Stephanie, you're fun to be with. 29 00:02:16,950 --> 00:02:19,310 All I've ever been complimented on are my looks. 30 00:02:20,290 --> 00:02:22,590 Frankly, Dick, being attractive can be a real burden. 31 00:02:23,930 --> 00:02:26,010 Yes, that's true. You don't know how lucky you are. 32 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:32,980 Oh, I have some good news. 33 00:02:33,180 --> 00:02:36,660 Paul Fraser called me. He's the host of Book Talk, and he wants me to be his 34 00:02:36,660 --> 00:02:37,399 guest this Sunday. 35 00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:38,940 You're kidding. That's wonderful. 36 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:40,280 Yeah, that's fantastic. 37 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:41,360 What's Book Talk? 38 00:02:41,500 --> 00:02:43,060 Yeah, I don't think I've ever seen it. 39 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:46,000 Well, it's a local television program where they interview writers. 40 00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:47,440 About what? 41 00:02:49,860 --> 00:02:52,660 About what they've written. No wonder I've never seen it. 42 00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:55,740 Well, I'm proud of you. I think it's great. 43 00:02:56,520 --> 00:03:02,460 The most beautiful girl in the world. Fix my ties out. Cooks me dinner. Is a 44 00:03:02,460 --> 00:03:04,680 winner. Hi, guys. Everybody. 45 00:03:04,920 --> 00:03:07,240 The most beautiful girl in the world. 46 00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:08,880 Cooks me dinner. 47 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:12,580 I take it Cindy cooked dinner for you last night. It was unbelievable. 48 00:03:13,020 --> 00:03:18,700 We had veal scallopini, carrots vichy, creamed spinach, chantilly potatoes, and 49 00:03:18,700 --> 00:03:19,920 French chocolate mousse. 50 00:03:20,460 --> 00:03:23,000 But then, I guess when you're in love, anything tastes good. 51 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,240 So what's new with you guys? 52 00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:28,280 We just found out Dick's going to be on Book Talk this Sunday. 53 00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:29,478 Book Talk? 54 00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:32,380 Is that the show that's on at four o 'clock in the morning right after Amish 55 00:03:32,380 --> 00:03:33,380 aerobics? 56 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:40,540 No, it happens to be a very highly thought of program on Sunday. What 57 00:03:40,540 --> 00:03:43,720 Sunday? It's the filler between the end of the football game and the news. 58 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:46,520 Certainly sounds like something people take seriously. 59 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:50,800 Look, it doesn't matter what time it's on. It's an honor that Dick has been 60 00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:52,320 recognized as a fine writer. 61 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:53,560 Or a fine filler. 62 00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:56,940 Well, I know I'm going to watch. 63 00:03:57,380 --> 00:03:58,299 Me too. 64 00:03:58,300 --> 00:03:59,179 Not me. 65 00:03:59,180 --> 00:04:00,180 Why not? 66 00:04:00,260 --> 00:04:01,460 Because I'm dating Cindy. 67 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:03,240 I have a life now. 68 00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:07,120 Well, I think the least you can do is take a few minutes out to watch Dick. 69 00:04:08,140 --> 00:04:09,140 This is true. 70 00:04:09,860 --> 00:04:11,980 Can I watch it over here? My TV's broken. 71 00:04:12,220 --> 00:04:13,099 Of course. 72 00:04:13,100 --> 00:04:14,140 We'll make it a party. 73 00:04:14,570 --> 00:04:17,990 Well, pop some popcorn, have some hot cider, and make an afternoon of it. Boy, 74 00:04:18,010 --> 00:04:19,010 that sounds great. 75 00:04:19,029 --> 00:04:20,209 Would you like me to bring something? 76 00:04:20,410 --> 00:04:22,070 Sure, what would you like to bring? Cindy. 77 00:04:23,110 --> 00:04:24,550 That is fascinating. 78 00:04:25,430 --> 00:04:29,690 We're talking to Dick Loudon, author of Let's Build a Barbecue, and we'll be 79 00:04:29,690 --> 00:04:31,450 right back after this commercial word. 80 00:04:33,250 --> 00:04:36,830 He's doing great, isn't he? I can't believe Cindy had to work today. 81 00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:40,890 Kirk, would you stop pouting? She's entertaining at a child's birthday 82 00:04:41,710 --> 00:04:44,450 This is what I hate about dating a professional clown. 83 00:04:45,090 --> 00:04:47,230 They're always busy on weekends. 84 00:04:47,530 --> 00:04:49,090 That should be my time this summer. 85 00:04:49,390 --> 00:04:50,670 Kirk, you're being selfish. 86 00:04:51,210 --> 00:04:54,370 I'm being selfish? I'm not the one who picked a day to turn six. 87 00:04:55,550 --> 00:04:58,810 Shh. The commercial is almost over. Well, big whip. 88 00:05:00,510 --> 00:05:03,110 Kirk, if you don't want to watch, why don't you just go home? 89 00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:04,370 No, no. 90 00:05:05,150 --> 00:05:09,190 If I stay here, at least I know there's someone more bored than I am. Who's 91 00:05:09,190 --> 00:05:11,190 that? The guy who's talking to Dick. 92 00:05:15,410 --> 00:05:16,410 Welcome back. 93 00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:21,050 We're talking to Dick Loudon, author of Let's Build a Barbecue, which you can 94 00:05:21,050 --> 00:05:22,330 pick up at your neighborhood bookstore. 95 00:05:22,870 --> 00:05:25,530 No, it's not in the bookstores. It's in the hardware stores. 96 00:05:25,870 --> 00:05:26,870 Oh. 97 00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:30,130 Locally, it can be found at Handy Sam, the hardware man. 98 00:05:31,910 --> 00:05:34,950 Well, thank you, Dick. You've been a wonderful guest. 99 00:05:35,370 --> 00:05:38,270 I'm sorry the game ran long and we didn't have more time to talk. 100 00:05:38,670 --> 00:05:42,230 Well, you know what they say, sometimes a man says more when he doesn't say 101 00:05:42,230 --> 00:05:43,230 anything. 102 00:05:44,470 --> 00:05:46,950 So true, so true. 103 00:05:48,910 --> 00:05:52,110 Well, that closes the cover on another Sunday afternoon. 104 00:05:52,490 --> 00:05:56,430 This is Paul Frazier for Book Talk saying, keep reading. 105 00:05:59,690 --> 00:06:03,150 Well... Thanks, Dick. 106 00:06:03,410 --> 00:06:05,350 I really enjoyed talking to you. 107 00:06:05,650 --> 00:06:06,930 I like the book, too. 108 00:06:07,370 --> 00:06:08,370 Oh, thank you. 109 00:06:08,570 --> 00:06:10,270 Nice program, Paul. Oh, thanks. 110 00:06:11,650 --> 00:06:14,190 Dick, this is our producer, Michael Harris. 111 00:06:14,410 --> 00:06:15,630 Oh, how do you do? Nice show. 112 00:06:15,970 --> 00:06:16,729 Thank you. 113 00:06:16,730 --> 00:06:19,430 Well, if you do excuse me, I've got a few calls to make. 114 00:06:20,810 --> 00:06:21,810 Dick, can you spare a moment? 115 00:06:22,530 --> 00:06:23,289 Yes, sir. 116 00:06:23,290 --> 00:06:25,930 I like the way you handled yourself out there. You're witty, you're articulate, 117 00:06:26,110 --> 00:06:27,650 you think quick on your seat. I was impressed. 118 00:06:30,770 --> 00:06:34,550 Thank you. I mean it. You've got poise, charm, and intelligence, and you seem to 119 00:06:34,550 --> 00:06:36,190 possess a keen insight into human nature. 120 00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:38,050 Well, you're no slouch yourself. 121 00:06:40,410 --> 00:06:41,630 Let me get right to the point. 122 00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:46,150 Paul is leaving us. In fact, this was his last show. We've been looking around 123 00:06:46,150 --> 00:06:47,150 for a replacement. 124 00:06:47,750 --> 00:06:49,010 I think you'd be perfect. 125 00:06:51,070 --> 00:06:52,070 Me? Why not? 126 00:06:53,010 --> 00:06:56,810 Well, don't get me wrong. I'm flattered, but I don't have the time. Well, this 127 00:06:56,810 --> 00:06:59,730 doesn't take much time. All you need to do is schedule a guest and read a book a 128 00:06:59,730 --> 00:07:00,730 week. You do read, don't you? 129 00:07:03,830 --> 00:07:06,050 You, uh... You really... 130 00:07:06,380 --> 00:07:08,980 Think I could do it? Not only do I think you could do it, I think you'd be 131 00:07:08,980 --> 00:07:11,540 terrific at it. A show could really use a personality like yours. 132 00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:17,940 Not to mention, it would be an opportunity to meet and talk to other 133 00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:21,480 Well, I must admit I would enjoy that part of it. 134 00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:24,800 And you can get anybody you want because it's your show. 135 00:07:27,020 --> 00:07:30,060 Well, there are a few writers out there I'd like to talk with. 136 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:31,540 Why don't you give it a try? 137 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:34,240 Okay, what the heck. 138 00:07:34,940 --> 00:07:35,940 Great. 139 00:07:36,130 --> 00:07:40,050 You know, I was honored just being a guest on the show. 140 00:07:40,410 --> 00:07:42,630 I never thought that I'd be a host. 141 00:07:43,870 --> 00:07:45,790 Carson better hope I never do the Tonight Show. 142 00:07:47,950 --> 00:07:48,950 That's wit, right? 143 00:07:50,690 --> 00:07:51,690 Right. Love it. 144 00:07:54,570 --> 00:07:58,390 Well, see you next Sunday. What time should I be here? Just make sure you're 145 00:07:58,390 --> 00:07:59,390 here by the two -minute warning. 146 00:08:00,070 --> 00:08:01,230 Al, do we have any Danish? 147 00:08:08,490 --> 00:08:10,250 you want me to pick up anything on the way. 148 00:08:11,530 --> 00:08:14,090 Okay, well, I'll see you in about 20 minutes. Bye -bye. 149 00:08:14,990 --> 00:08:16,910 Oh, hi, Dick. Something I can do for you? 150 00:08:17,150 --> 00:08:20,290 I just came over to say I was sorry to hear that you're leaving. 151 00:08:20,910 --> 00:08:21,910 What? 152 00:08:22,090 --> 00:08:23,090 Oh, my God. 153 00:08:28,350 --> 00:08:33,110 Oh, I'm sorry. I was under the impression that leaving was your idea. 154 00:08:34,049 --> 00:08:35,049 No. 155 00:08:37,680 --> 00:08:39,000 Don't leave yet. 156 00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:40,419 I'll be right back. 157 00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:42,460 Well, a check with David, get back to me. 158 00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:46,720 Excuse me. Oh, hi, Dan. I thought Paul knew he was leaving. 159 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:48,940 You didn't tell him, did you? Yes. 160 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:51,160 How'd he take it? 161 00:08:54,180 --> 00:08:55,600 He's crushed, who wouldn't be? 162 00:08:56,260 --> 00:09:00,660 Look, I... I can't take this job. Oh, Dick, listen, you don't understand. Paul 163 00:09:00,660 --> 00:09:02,900 is leaving, whether you decide to be the new host or not. 164 00:09:03,340 --> 00:09:06,180 This decision was made long before we spotted you. 165 00:09:07,710 --> 00:09:11,150 Yeah, still. He's been here 15 years. I think they just feel it's time for a new 166 00:09:11,150 --> 00:09:14,230 face. Look, it's not even my decision. This comes straight from the president. 167 00:09:14,530 --> 00:09:15,670 Of Channel 8, I mean. 168 00:09:20,410 --> 00:09:24,750 And you're sure there's no way that Paul could get his job back? 169 00:09:24,970 --> 00:09:27,370 Dick, they're already out there scraping his name off the parking space. 170 00:09:28,590 --> 00:09:31,250 Believe me, you're not squeezing anybody out. 171 00:09:31,750 --> 00:09:32,950 You're filling a vacancy. 172 00:09:34,510 --> 00:09:35,570 I still don't like the idea. 173 00:09:35,810 --> 00:09:36,810 But you will do it? 174 00:09:37,610 --> 00:09:39,290 I guess so. Terrific. 175 00:09:39,630 --> 00:09:45,690 But I'm, uh... I'm dedicating next week's show to Paul. That's a super 176 00:09:46,910 --> 00:09:47,910 See you next week. 177 00:09:51,270 --> 00:09:53,930 Elliot, you're a literary agent. You must know some authors. 178 00:09:55,270 --> 00:09:57,050 It's not Timbuktu. It's Vermont. 179 00:09:58,230 --> 00:10:00,290 Well, I don't care who you get. Just get somebody. 180 00:10:01,710 --> 00:10:02,950 Nobody wants to do the show. 181 00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:04,740 I thought you were going to get Norman Mailer. 182 00:10:05,180 --> 00:10:06,560 I was. He turned me down. 183 00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:08,360 You talked to Norman Mailer? 184 00:10:08,780 --> 00:10:11,560 I talked to his agent secretary. She turned me down. 185 00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:15,560 I mean, honey, the only reason I took this job was to meet and talk with 186 00:10:15,560 --> 00:10:18,560 authors. I thought they'd be as excited as I am to be on the show. 187 00:10:18,820 --> 00:10:19,820 Well, what are you going to do? 188 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:21,980 I'll just hope Ellie can come up with somebody. 189 00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:24,760 If she doesn't, I may wind up interviewing myself. 190 00:10:25,260 --> 00:10:27,100 Well, is there anything I can do to help? 191 00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:28,940 Can you write a book by Sunday? 192 00:10:31,980 --> 00:10:33,320 I have got great news. 193 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:35,780 Guess who's going to sponsor your show. 194 00:10:36,980 --> 00:10:37,980 Oh, Lord. 195 00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:41,560 You would not believe how cheap it is to advertise on that program. 196 00:10:42,940 --> 00:10:44,080 I don't want to hear. 197 00:10:44,300 --> 00:10:45,480 Are you sure? It's funny. 198 00:10:46,580 --> 00:10:50,480 Why are you doing this, Kirk? It's the perfect tie -in. The host of Book Talk 199 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:51,600 my neighbor and my best friend. 200 00:10:51,980 --> 00:10:53,640 Will you quit calling me your best friend? 201 00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:58,580 This is not the kind of program where you hawk hamburgers. Dick, I realize 202 00:10:58,580 --> 00:11:00,760 a classy show, but I intend to do a classy commercial. 203 00:11:01,290 --> 00:11:03,710 That's why I want Joanna to be my spokeswoman for the cafe. 204 00:11:04,090 --> 00:11:05,090 Me? 205 00:11:05,210 --> 00:11:08,470 Joanna? Honey, I really don't think we both have to be that surprised. 206 00:11:09,430 --> 00:11:13,150 I think you'd be perfect. You're the most sophisticated woman I know. I am? 207 00:11:13,370 --> 00:11:14,690 Yeah. What do you think, Dick? 208 00:11:14,990 --> 00:11:18,210 Well, honey, it's up to you, but... I mean, you really want to be seen 209 00:11:18,210 --> 00:11:20,830 representing a... greasy, crummy cafe? 210 00:11:22,230 --> 00:11:23,230 What would I wear? 211 00:11:23,590 --> 00:11:24,670 Anything you want. 212 00:11:25,170 --> 00:11:28,090 Dick, I know you're worried that Kirk is going to do something embarrassing, but 213 00:11:28,090 --> 00:11:30,070 if I were there, I could make sure that didn't happen. 214 00:11:30,710 --> 00:11:33,050 Honey, I told you, if you want to do it, it's up to you. 215 00:11:33,650 --> 00:11:34,650 Well, okay. 216 00:11:34,750 --> 00:11:36,550 If everybody really thinks I'd be good. 217 00:11:37,350 --> 00:11:40,330 Great. We have to shoot the commercial on Sunday. Sunday's fine. 218 00:11:40,670 --> 00:11:43,510 Wait a minute. Neither of us is going to be here on Sunday. I'd better tell 219 00:11:43,510 --> 00:11:44,510 George and Stephanie. 220 00:11:45,670 --> 00:11:50,350 Oh, by the way, they say TV adds ten pounds to you, so you might want to drop 221 00:11:50,350 --> 00:11:51,350 few beforehand. 222 00:11:53,930 --> 00:11:57,030 Well, have you seen the producer of the show? 223 00:11:59,660 --> 00:12:00,619 Have a good show, Dick. 224 00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:01,620 Michael, wait a minute. 225 00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:04,980 Where have you been? I've been trying to reach you all week. You never returned 226 00:12:04,980 --> 00:12:05,639 my calls. 227 00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:06,640 Didn't I? Sorry. 228 00:12:09,020 --> 00:12:10,019 What's the problem? 229 00:12:10,020 --> 00:12:12,380 Well, you never told me how hard it was to get guests. 230 00:12:12,740 --> 00:12:15,340 I mean, you said it'd take a couple hours. I've been on the phone all week 231 00:12:15,340 --> 00:12:16,340 calling people. 232 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:17,640 Gee, I hope you got somebody. 233 00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:21,660 Yeah, I did. I don't know how good he is. I got him at the last minute. 234 00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:23,119 Well, what's his book? 235 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:24,640 The Complete History of the Universe. 236 00:12:26,580 --> 00:12:27,580 Sounds good. 237 00:12:27,660 --> 00:12:28,660 What's the problem? 238 00:12:29,220 --> 00:12:30,220 This is it. 239 00:12:34,740 --> 00:12:37,440 Well, don't worry. The game will probably go into overtime. You'll just 240 00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:38,840 for a few minutes anyway. Have a good one. 241 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:43,620 Two minutes, Mr. Loudon. Have you seen my guest? 242 00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:47,260 That's starting to hurt. 243 00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:50,720 Excuse me, Mr. 244 00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:52,200 Loudon? Yes. 245 00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:55,540 My name is Lloyd Minninger. I'm supposed to be your guest today. 246 00:12:59,399 --> 00:13:03,920 My guest's name is Donald Boom. Well, apparently Mr. Boom couldn't make it and 247 00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:05,120 I'm supposed to be a replacement. 248 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:06,819 Oh, great. 249 00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:09,280 Just when I need it. I'm sorry if that's a problem. 250 00:13:09,540 --> 00:13:11,680 No, no, that's all right. I just haven't read your book. 251 00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:13,180 I have it right here. 252 00:13:16,460 --> 00:13:20,960 Up the Amazon by Colonel Lloyd Menninger. 253 00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:23,720 You're a colonel? Yes. 254 00:13:24,140 --> 00:13:25,500 Air Force, but I'm retired. 255 00:13:25,780 --> 00:13:26,780 Oh. 256 00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:28,560 What's the book about? 257 00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:32,000 It's about a canoe trip I took up the Amazon a couple of years ago. One 258 00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:33,020 Mr. Loudon. 259 00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:37,840 Okay, do you think you can talk about this for 10 or 15 minutes? 260 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:39,940 Oh, I can talk about this for days. 261 00:13:40,580 --> 00:13:41,580 Great. 262 00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:42,840 Thank you. 263 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:48,300 Okay, I'll introduce you, and then I'll say, tell us about your trip, Colonel, 264 00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:50,140 and then you take it from there. 265 00:13:50,340 --> 00:13:52,800 Fine. Hey, when I give you your cue, read this. 266 00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:01,720 And this is Book Talk. 267 00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:06,000 For those of you who are used to seeing Paul Fraser sitting in this chair, I 268 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:10,560 should tell you that Paul has decided to leave and go on to what I'm sure will 269 00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:12,260 be an incredibly successful career. 270 00:14:13,900 --> 00:14:14,960 Doing something else. 271 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:22,720 Just a personal note. 272 00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:24,160 Good luck, Paul. 273 00:14:24,980 --> 00:14:25,980 This one's for you. 274 00:14:28,750 --> 00:14:33,050 guest in the studio today is Colonel Lloyd Menninger. He's written a 275 00:14:33,050 --> 00:14:35,670 book called Up the Amazon. 276 00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:39,530 Colonel, tell us about your trip. Thank you, Dick. 277 00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:44,670 I've always been fascinated by stories about the Amazon. So when I retired from 278 00:14:44,670 --> 00:14:49,190 the Air Force, I arranged for some guides and canoes, and after months of 279 00:14:49,190 --> 00:14:53,250 planning, set out to travel from the mouth to the source of the Amazon. 280 00:14:53,830 --> 00:14:55,710 The whole trip was a medley of... 281 00:14:57,610 --> 00:14:58,610 And why is that? 282 00:14:59,230 --> 00:15:03,510 Well, there were times the mosquitoes were so thick we couldn't see each 283 00:15:03,610 --> 00:15:08,330 And sometimes the air was so heavy we felt we were drinking it instead of 284 00:15:08,330 --> 00:15:09,129 breathing it. 285 00:15:09,130 --> 00:15:14,990 And yet, the sheer spectacle of those deep green rainforests, unspoiled by any 286 00:15:14,990 --> 00:15:17,050 man, was worth every inconvenience. 287 00:15:18,170 --> 00:15:20,850 Now, did you get to the source of the river? 288 00:15:21,130 --> 00:15:22,390 Not quite, Dick. 289 00:15:22,730 --> 00:15:26,660 About five... Five months into the trip, we decided to explore a tributary 290 00:15:26,660 --> 00:15:28,260 hundreds of miles from any civilization. 291 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:34,160 A day or two into this side trip, we pulled the canoes over to the bank and 292 00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:36,160 decided to do some exploring on foot. 293 00:15:36,980 --> 00:15:40,820 We walked for several miles when we came upon a clearing in the jungle that had 294 00:15:40,820 --> 00:15:44,100 some of the most breathtaking scenery I think I've ever seen. 295 00:15:44,580 --> 00:15:46,320 Why don't you tell us about it, Colonel? 296 00:15:46,740 --> 00:15:51,700 Well, Dick, it was a beautiful primeval valley filled with hundreds of varieties 297 00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:53,160 of exotic vegetation. 298 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:57,340 and perhaps most amazing, a herd of prehistoric dinosaurs. 299 00:16:06,580 --> 00:16:07,580 Uh, 300 00:16:08,620 --> 00:16:09,620 what? 301 00:16:11,020 --> 00:16:16,680 That's right, Dick. Some docile brontosauri, flying pterodactyls, and of 302 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:20,980 the king of these great beasts, the carnivorous tyrannosaurus rex. 303 00:16:21,740 --> 00:16:23,420 Needless to say, we were shocked. 304 00:16:25,660 --> 00:16:26,660 Amazed. 305 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:32,980 Simultaneously amazed and terrified, we were torn between running for our lives 306 00:16:32,980 --> 00:16:34,420 and running for our cameras. 307 00:16:36,780 --> 00:16:42,920 Are you trying to tell us that you found dinosaurs in South America? 308 00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:47,440 Correct. Of course, I would not be making these claims without documented 309 00:16:47,980 --> 00:16:49,720 I have here an actual... 310 00:16:50,250 --> 00:16:53,890 unretouched photo clearly showing the existence of these giant reptiles. 311 00:17:06,470 --> 00:17:09,089 I can't make out anything in that. 312 00:17:10,890 --> 00:17:13,950 Well, of course, it was taken from the air. 313 00:17:15,869 --> 00:17:19,230 Wait, wait a minute. I thought you said you made the trip by canoe. 314 00:17:19,609 --> 00:17:24,310 We did, Dick. But we were graciously transported aloft to take this 315 00:17:24,310 --> 00:17:26,829 by the extraterrestrials who live in the area. 316 00:17:37,630 --> 00:17:40,530 Extra... extraterrestrials. That's right, Dick. 317 00:17:40,830 --> 00:17:44,370 They are actually ball -shaped and communicate through telepathy. 318 00:17:51,790 --> 00:17:52,790 Don't go away. 319 00:17:54,310 --> 00:17:55,530 Not that you would. 320 00:17:58,230 --> 00:18:04,110 We'll be right back after this word from our sponsor. And we're into commercial. 321 00:18:04,550 --> 00:18:06,610 All right, okay. Great guest, Dick. 322 00:18:06,870 --> 00:18:07,870 Michael Howard. 323 00:18:09,810 --> 00:18:10,870 Terrific. Thank you. 324 00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:12,090 Can we get makeup here? 325 00:18:12,790 --> 00:18:17,290 Michael, could you please say, after the show, okay? 326 00:18:18,010 --> 00:18:20,910 Just look at the monitor, Dick. I'll cue you when the commercial's over. 327 00:18:21,290 --> 00:18:23,610 Hi, friends. Kirk Devane, owner of the Minute Man Cafe. 328 00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:28,570 How much would you pay for this delicious, juicy, all -beef hamburger 329 00:18:28,570 --> 00:18:29,730 wonderful white bread bun? 330 00:18:30,010 --> 00:18:31,010 Well, don't answer yet. 331 00:18:31,670 --> 00:18:37,770 What if I threw in a very green lettuce leaf, an entire onion slice, and some mm 332 00:18:37,770 --> 00:18:39,570 -mm lip -smacking pickles? 333 00:18:40,590 --> 00:18:43,650 Now, how much would you pay? Well, don't say anything, because at the Minute 334 00:18:43,650 --> 00:18:47,370 Man, we also give you your choice of condiments, mustard or ketchup. 335 00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:54,200 expect to pay as much as $15 or $20 for a meal like this at some restaurants. 336 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:58,880 But at the minute, man, the monster meal in a bun is only $3 .29. 337 00:18:59,540 --> 00:19:02,500 You heard me right, $3 .29. 338 00:19:03,340 --> 00:19:05,960 And they are irresistible. 339 00:19:06,340 --> 00:19:11,080 Why, this lady here, turn around, is on her fourth burger. 340 00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:17,080 Yes, a perfectly attractive woman willing to eat herself into obesity. 341 00:19:21,070 --> 00:19:24,650 You will, too, once you've had a monster meal in the bun at Kirk Devane's 342 00:19:24,650 --> 00:19:28,310 Minuteman Cafe next door to the Stratford Inn owned by your book talk 343 00:19:28,310 --> 00:19:30,030 Loudon. Back to you, Dick. 344 00:19:31,810 --> 00:19:32,789 We're back. 345 00:19:32,790 --> 00:19:33,790 To you, Dick. 346 00:19:34,050 --> 00:19:35,050 Right. 347 00:19:36,350 --> 00:19:41,250 We're talking with retired Air Force Colonel Lloyd Menninger, 348 00:19:41,310 --> 00:19:47,710 who has written a book called Up the Amazon. 349 00:19:48,910 --> 00:19:54,150 In which he purports to have seen dinosaurs and aliens 350 00:19:54,150 --> 00:19:58,110 living somewhere in Brazil. 351 00:20:01,110 --> 00:20:07,130 Colonel, I'm sure that you'll have to admit that you've made some 352 00:20:07,130 --> 00:20:11,430 claims, and at the risk of sounding realistic, 353 00:20:11,690 --> 00:20:18,070 it seems to me that if there were... 354 00:20:18,820 --> 00:20:24,540 dinosaurs and alien beings on the banks of the Amazon, we would have heard about 355 00:20:24,540 --> 00:20:25,540 it before this. 356 00:20:25,620 --> 00:20:26,860 Well, not from me, Dick. 357 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:31,020 I've been in hiding. 358 00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:32,320 Hiding. 359 00:20:33,260 --> 00:20:34,260 Correct, Dick. 360 00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:36,420 The government is trying to kill me. 361 00:20:37,740 --> 00:20:40,620 Obviously, when I say government, I mean specifically the CIA. 362 00:20:41,120 --> 00:20:44,180 They know that if this information were to get out, it would panic the public. 363 00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:46,160 But... 364 00:20:47,690 --> 00:20:48,890 you're not hiding now. 365 00:20:49,110 --> 00:20:52,850 Well, Dick, I didn't feel I could pass up an opportunity to speak on 366 00:20:53,510 --> 00:20:56,930 I've been trying for months to tell my story over the airwaves. 367 00:20:57,170 --> 00:21:01,670 But as we all know, the three major networks as well as PBS and most cable 368 00:21:01,670 --> 00:21:03,990 channels are now controlled by the Soviet Union. 369 00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:20,280 I'm afraid that's all the time we have for today. 370 00:21:20,580 --> 00:21:21,700 Four more minutes, Dick. 371 00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:23,480 Not for me, pal. 372 00:21:28,180 --> 00:21:31,780 This is Dick Loudon for Book Talk saying goodbye. 373 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:35,260 And please try to forget this. 374 00:21:41,260 --> 00:21:43,900 And how long have you been in the KGB, Dick? 375 00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:21,040 Meow.